Dale o’Gherkins

Dale o’Gherkins aka Dale G | Dale OG | Big DoG the Crunkeyland Vibe Regulator and Manager of Banana Hammocks Crunk Cafe and Nightclub joined Crunkeyland after being chosen for the OG Crunkeyland mission by impressing upon Young Crunkey at a Crunktown DJ competition. He knows all of the modern classics and even some ofContinue reading “Dale o’Gherkins”

Uncle Paul

Uncle Paul aka Scrappy the Trainer is King Crunkey’s uncle who saved young Crunkey after the Wild Zombie stampede and who nominated Young Crunkey to lead the OG mission to Crunkeyland. Uncle Paul is now the training manager and bout coordinator at Ape-In Boxing Club. —Dale Gherkins on Uncle Paul via Twitter (@11brose)“..to know UncleContinue reading “Uncle Paul”

Zigzwanathan Zugzwang aka Ziggy Zug or ZugZ

/King Crunkey’s alter-Ape..and gaming bro..born in Crunk Forest during a lightning storm. ..if anything ever happens to Crunkey, ZugZ will know what to do. When ZugZ isn’t advising King Crunkey, he plays chess with Chrys Tal to earn coaching rewards and clout tokens. ZugZ has a lot of Clout..all of it earned through hardwork andContinue reading “Zigzwanathan Zugzwang aka Ziggy Zug or ZugZ”

Chrys Tal the Wizard Chess Champion

Manager of 0xrangutang Chex ♣︎. He also is Ziggy Zug’s Chess Coach and joined Crunkeyland through the wormhole portal from Crunktown. Watch out at the poker table, Chrys is an absolute card shark too..sometimes ZugZ uses his Ape-clout and collateral to sponsor Chrys Tal during tournaments!Chrys was born blind, tall, and lanky. However, he wasContinue reading “Chrys Tal the Wizard Chess Champion”

Jake Paul, Fight Club Tribute

Jake Paul aka Lights Out is Uncle Paul’s Son; King Crunkey’s formerly-crackhead, saved-by-boxing cousin, who joined Crunkeyland with Leon Skum and Jeff from IT in Lunar Cohort 2021 during a test transit of the glitch drive wormhole between Crunktown->Crunkeyland. Jake prefers his nickname Lights Out so he isn’t “mistaken for that stupid fuckin YouTube punk.”Continue reading “Jake Paul, Fight Club Tribute”

King Crunkey and MooonKey lead the OG Crunkeyland Mission

..young Crunkey was nominated to lead the OG Crunkeyland Mission by Uncle Paul who also negotiated for his friend Ringer to provide the necessary collateral to initiate the mission. In acceptance of his duty, young Crunkey became King Crunkey, and began building the essential leadership team for the journey. Once everyone made their commits toContinue reading “King Crunkey and MooonKey lead the OG Crunkeyland Mission”

Intern 8082 aka Brose o’Ghost

..all of the CrunkeyLand Tales can be told here by Intern 8082, who was a chosen by King Crunkey from a lottery of 9,999 participants who wanted to join the OG mission to Crunkeyland. The winner is required to document the mission and report back to Crunktown weekly, and so here we are..Intern 8082 reportingContinue reading “Intern 8082 aka Brose o’Ghost”

Yogi o’Yieldy, uOFG

-unOfficial Finace Guru- Yieldy is a free man, born with diamond hands nevertheless, he chooses to serve as Ringer’s sidekick and also as King Crunkey’s accountant. “Discipline equals freedom” is his mantra..pretty much the only thing he ever says..mostly he just points at hot charts..and reinvests airdrops.—/10a – Yogi o’Yieldy – Crunk #7973/ ..many ofContinue reading “Yogi o’Yieldy, uOFG”